The Sad, The Weird, and the weirder

First sorry it's been awhile since i wrote i should be spanked lol, but i am here now.

so the sad part is two nights ago my sisters husbands Mother passed away, she was living with MS and it took her life suddenly with out warning, she lives over in Pennsylvania and so my sisters husband went back there to attend the funeral, it's very sad to have lost a loved one and not being there with them and being able to see them and she never got to meet her granddaughter Bella, but at least she will be able to watch her from heaven :) yes i believe there is a heaven and all my animals are there waiting for me to be with them :) she was loved by many and will be missed severely, but the memory of her will live on and Bella will know of her.

The weird; so for a while i have been talking with this guy named Matt, we met on pof and we started texting each other, he sent pics he has been married, has two kids,etc which i was looking past ya know giving it a chance, because he seemed sweet and stuff, he is 31 , 6'2 , greenish bluish eyes. so any way we always just texted he is the first guy who didn't want to just talk on the phone , i thought that was kinda weird, any way we planned to meet today tuesday the 20th and the time before meeting i still hadn't heard his voice i even tried to secretly call his voicemail to see if had a message on there of his voice but he didn't, fail, so i just had to wait til we met, and he came at 1:00pm picked me up he was tall and looked like his picture and his voice was normal nothing bad or anything, so we went over to the park and i brought bread and a frisbee along, it was a bit cloudy and i was scared it would rain, but for most of it it was just cloudy , and we were both kinda quiet , me because i am always nervous and shy on the first date, and him he said because he was sleepy, he works night shifts at his job and he hadn't been to sleep yet so that was weird, so there wasn't that many ducks out to feed so i have bread left over blah, and then we talked but it wasn't that easy or smooth to find things to talk about, and then we played frisbee which was nice , because we got to flirt and what not, then we just chilled in this really nice area and then he had to go pick up his kids to hang out with so i was like oh ok, so yea kids i don't know if i can deal with that, i mean i tried not to effect my judgment of him, but really in a relationship a new one you want to be with that person and usually that person is free when their not working can be with you and hang with you, but he doesn't , he has free time and usually that goes to the kids and then if it does work out, he already has kids, and i want my own kids and he told me that he just wanted one more and i want three of my own so that's kind of another thing, the other part i just felt a little to young for him, he is only 31 yes, but he has been in a marriage for a long time and raised kids so that tends to mature people, so i don't know it doesn't look like it's working out for me, he is still blowing up my phone with texts and thinks it went amazing, but really i think it went sour, not sure how to let him down *sigh* just wish i can find someone who can be there and have fun and that i feel a connection with errrg.

still in the weird section; back in October of last year i was talking with a guy named Sean , me and that boy could talk on the phone it was awesome we would talk forever and hardly was any silence while we talked, anyway my dad and his wife were going to be going away to Hawaii for vacation and I was trying to get him to come out there and spend some time with me but it got complicated and we stopped talking to each other. I've always remembered our great conversations and how sweet he was and everything , so a bit ago i messaged him and i thought awe he isn't going to message me back this is pointless, but he did and i was shocked , so we just started texting each other of course after my date we started texting, he seems to be doing well, and he said i have been in his mind still as well and he wanted to message me but was scared and was glad that i did. even tho i started this up again talking with this guy i think it's pointless because i don't think it can go any further then just talking and being buddies, and that sucks.

The weirder; so i was on this other site okcupid because i got messaged on there and i was responding, and then this dude ims me on there and it's my ex's friend , he had messaged me before asking me to give him oral satisfaction, and so yet again he is trying to ask the same damn thing, i am like really, and he likes to argue with me why i should give it to him, i am like your my ex's friend, and he was like i only like talk once a year if even that, and repeatedly i tell him i am not that type of girl, but he won't let it go and keeps on trying to get me to do that thing for him, but i am not. another weirder thing is that i can't believe and maybe it's a sad fact as well, chatting with all kinds of people at the moment as i am trying to get this blog down and i am still freaking bored, i just really want someone that i can hang out with that we have such a good time that being away from them is like heartbreak, with someone who can have me stay over and lay in each others arms and just chill, like my best friend Melissa has, she found someone and they are just awesomely sprung on each other makes me utterly sick to see it, she always finds great people, and i always find the ones who are so close yet so far, Gees that is the title for my life lol "So Close Yet So Far" The Danielle M. Story will she ever find the love she is looking for , or will she settle for mister ok, keep reading and find out.

Side news cleaned the hell outta my room, bought a new sexy rockabilly like dress, and bought two shirts i shouldn't have but they looked incredible on me that i couldn't pass it up lol. still feeding Sunflower baby food. Been applying for jobs left and right. and i passed something yay that was big news, and more then finding the man for me, i wish it were summer and i can go to the lake and swim and lay out in the sun. well that's all for now night all.

XOXO D