Only in my Dreams

Hiya sorry been a while since I wrote again :::pats top of head ::: i need to at least get on here every three days or something so anyway on with the life update.
Ok so Last time i talked about a guy that i was hanging out with that i hadn't kissed , so he took me to get some pet food for my rats , and on a sad note the Emu was not there sadden like i was going to be able to get him, it was just a cute thought lol. Anyways the whole time i did not feel comfortable with this guy whose name is Darren by the way and every time he put his arm around me i would cringe that's how i knew its soooo over, so he took me home after we got the pet food because i made the excuse that i had tons of laundry to do , which technically wasn't a lie i did have a lot of laundry to do, and i just used it so i can get away from him.

So then one day i was playing on the internet and i got a message from this new guy, he seemed interesting so i decided to talk to him and he was pretty cool, his name is Chris, but if you remember a guy i was hanging out with named Vince, They are sooooo similar with some minor differences , so basically Vince was a guy who loved to play the guitar and was looking to play in a band, he worked, he still lived at home, lives a hour away from me, but doesn't drive, ok so Chris Loves to play the guitar and is in a band ,still lives at home, he works, lives a hour and some minutes away and doesn't drive .... oh yes and they both fell for me quickly both have said "I love you" to me , now i made the mistake of saying it back to Vince when i knew i wasn't , but when chris said it to me , i told him it is too soon to say it and i am not there, we have met and in a sad way my affections for him fell, like on the phone he was awesome very fun, flirty, and cool, in person he was kinda weird , he is a weird guy but in a cute way, but in person it was creepy weird lol, now he too is a sweet guy and could probably make me happy, but right now i am not, and even though he is suffocating me with attention, i am not feeling it , i even told my friends and family about the situation and every one says to bolt. Right now i am drawing him a picture and i believe after i finish it and email him a copy of it , i am going to end it, because he truly loves me, but i am not even close i like him , but i do not love him.

Been down the past few days , because i would like to find a local man who wants to date and have fun and fall in love with each other I had a dream of the perfect date , get picked up do something silly and fun like mini golf, have some dinner, go do karaoke, then go somewhere where you can see the stars and talk and relax and not let hormones get in the way of a sweet moment, we might share a kiss who knows its only between the stars.

It's soo weird how my friend realized that something was wrong right away last night, but i denied it, but she knew and kept probing, i know inside i will find the one i am ment to be with, just getting tired of all the frogs, would like to come across the prince now.

So nothing else is really going on, oh yea there is one more thing, so i've stopped presuing that older gentleman who i believe is A.D.D, and once i did he suddenly has been messaging me non stop , but i am not really giving him answers, would just like to pack up my ratties and run away, but that is only in my dreams where that could happen.

Night night .

XOXO D

Horrific Pain

Hi ya , well I've been in a roller coaster of emotions lol, somedays i feel great then others i feel real sad and then others i feel like crap, and i finally know why PMS lol for reals, like i had the symptoms for starting you know what but nothing was happening because i usually start at the beginning of the month but soon i started and it's been terrible monstrous pain and just now have the pain settled down but it hadn't been this bad for a while and it just kept me to my bed. sorry i know you really don't want to hear about my women issues but oh well haha.

so besides that i've been in the middle of something very strange, on my space i got messaged by this guy who lived not so far from me, we had talked and we met and i wasnt sure how i felt about him, if he really was my type. so now i have met him about three times and we even hung out together for Valentines Day, but get this i haven't even kissed him yet lol, which is strange for me because i will usually kiss a guy on the first date, but with him i didnt and i am seeing how long i could go with out kissing him, and i can't believe i still haven't and now i kinda don't want to , i don't feel as if we are connecting, but get this he does, he is already intensely into me and it's kinda strange cause he wants to do so much things for me and spend a lot of time with me, and we haven't even kissed , i like the attention and the fact that he asks about my ratties and how i am doing and texts to me alot, because i am a attention whore, but i feel bad because i don't think i am into him, and i don't want to kiss him, but i like his attention i don't know what to do, i feel like i could be giving up a good guy who will treat me like a princess and give me the attention i want and stuff, but i don't think i could give all myself , idk it's so confusing.

So then the other side is this guy i went out with a little bit after my break up , we went on a date, he was nice , sweet, and handsome. but then he got really busy and went away, so i was like ok, and continued dating and what not, so then not to long ago he started talking with me again, saying how he wanted to see me and so fourth but each time we would try to arrange something , something would come up, i am a patient girl, and plus there was something about him that made me want to not give up on him, so we were supposed to hang out the day before valentines , but he got into a accident and couldn't make it, he wanted to hang sunday but i had plans, and then he messaged me this evening asking if i wanted to hang out with him, and i was like sure, so he picked me up and i can't believe how nervous i was, we had met before but i was feeling how i do when i first meet people, but then we started talking and i felt sort of calm and collected and he is one strange guy very antsy, in a rush, i think he has A.D.D. not very patient guy, so he kinda got on my nervous with that, and he seems like a sweet guy but really i don't even know if he has time for me to give me the attention i want or need, he owns his own business and is always on the run going places and doing things, so i think i need to give up on him and go another direction, because i wasn't feeling from him that i was what he wanted either , i think he needs a fast paced lady who can jet set with him and go to all the places he goes for business and who can keep up with him, because he is a older gentleman, and i am a 25 year old woman, but this short time with this man he exhausted me, because he would change his thought to one thing of another it was just weird very very weird.

I just wish i could find a decent guy who can give me the attention i want, who can make me laugh, who i can have fun with, who i want to kiss, who i am attracted to physically , mentally, emotionally. Someone who is going to understand me, I am not that complicated a women, this is what i want a man who wants to know me the person i am and who is more interesting in getting to know each other to see if we can be more then just sex, someone who is able to put that to the side for a moment and get to know each other deeply and then share a special night and share a intimate moment and if we get along great the chemistry is awesome and the passion is there then great perfect that's what i wish would come into my life, but yes i understand women tend to want what doesn't exist, but it's not like i am asking for a vampire/prince who will fight the world to protect me from all evil and others blah blah , just want someone that i can grow old with and still want to be with them when we are old and wrinkly, watching our great grand kids play, is it really that hard to find the man of my dreams, when they aren't that far fetched.... yup it is.

Anyway on a lighter note, there is a pet shop i go to get my Pet Ratties food and they had a Emu for sell it was awesome would love to have because that was one cool EMU and i would name it Odin or some kind of O name looks like he would have a O name lol, he would be my best animal friend lol, naw i know its stupid , my ratties are my best friends and they would sooooo get mad if i got a new pet, not really, but i like to think so lol.

well I've been watching bones and i am almost finished with the first season my friend let me borrow it, so i am going to end this blog and go finish it.


XOXO D

Sea Shells by the Sea Shore

Hello sorry again for not posting sooner , had a busy week, well Monday i didn't do anything, but on Tuesday I got to hang out with a really nice guy named Darren, he said my name wrong tho , its so weird when they say my name wrong, so my name is Danielle and he and his friend both called me Dunall :::shiver of annoyance:::: you are supposed to say my name like Dan Yel thats like the closest way of giving you idea of the correction pronunciation, but still beyond butchering my name he was sweet and nice to me oh and he had a awesome dog named Shotzie which means Sweetheart in german, and his dog adored me lol.

then that same night my friend asked if i wanted to go to her friends house in Santa Ana to go drink and play games so i said yes and she picked me up and wouldn't let me finish watching lost grrr , i even said hey your friend is a lost fan as well and she would be cool with it, but she complained and bitched and i had to leave , when we got there i told her friend and she yelled at melissa too HAHA. So we drank and had some fun and Melissa got a drink thrown at her it was awesomely funny.

Then Wednesday we had spent the night at her friends place and we discussed what we were going to do that day a lot of ideas flooded the air and after much discussion and a visit to mcdonalds we decided on the beach , so we drove over to New port beach, it was very nice, they played baseball calling it Buck buck i have no idea why lol, and while they were playing that i was searching the beach for some cool looking shells, then later we found a football and played that then it was getting late the people who came with us left and melissa and me chilled there for a moment longer and then left home, when we got back to my house we finally watched Lost and then House and then she left.

Thursday I washed all my blankets from my bed YAY hadn't done that for sometime eww i know but now they are all so fresh and so clean clean yay. i also watched kill bill vol. 1 & 2 and a movie called White Oleander for some reason i started to get sad and cried when i was finished watching it, and then my friend came over again and we just surfed the internet and tried to decide on something to watch but we have sorta different tastes so yea.

So thats about it , The ratties are fine i have been playing with them more, and they always make me laugh and smile.

well I am tired and want to sleep in my clean bed lol, sounds bad but it just feels better now haha.

XOXO D

The Aftermath

Hi , its been a rocky couple of days of me trying to cope with the loss of my beloved Yumyum, some moments are ok others i go back to feeling i have this deep void in my life now, i miss not seeing her eating or drinking or in her hamyik, passed few days i have been collecting and sorting videos i have of her and pictures and last night finished putting together a Tribute video for Yumyum, and today i put it on a dvd and watched it on my families big tv and it looks absolutely amazing and i am sure Yumyum enjoyed peering down at heaven to see what i made for her, then just now i put my video on Youtube for others to see i don't know who will watch it but i hope they do, i've seen other peoples rattie tribute videos and it always made me dread the day that i would have to do the same, but i am very proud of what i made and can't wait to share it with my family and friend, and all of you out there in the internet land lol.

But i am posting it on her i hope it works i am a eager beaver so i think it is still processing but i don't know and her it goes.



XOXO D


RIP YumYum