Wowzers

Haven't posted in a long time sorry about that, but not much has been going on the same ole bullshit. Last time I did write i was writing about sunflower and how she wasn't doing to well, well she's still kicking she walks the same as i described in the post before, but she is still alive and doing well, I believe she had a stroke when i researched online that's what i came up with, I told you my sunflower is a strong girlie =D .

Other then that I've been working of some drawings and entering them in a contest, I've even been trying to use the computer to make them better, the first one i was working on i colored it using photoshop it took some time and i nearly went insane but i got it done, i entered the one i colored which i kind of regret right now but oh well, then the second one well i took photos of my dad's dog one of the cats and my ratties and combined to make a freak of nature muahahahah it was cool kinda weird but it was fun, then the third one i worked on i drew is three different sections and then put it all together using photoshop it was awesome how well it turned out and you know how i never really do backgrounds well i did one and it wasn't that bad, but i still need a lot of practice. SO i hope at least one of my artworks gets through to the final that would be awesome more awesome if i win a place. There is another contest i might enter not sure though .

went on a few dates recently but something must be wrong, i just don't feel a connection with these guys, a few posts back i told you i was crushing on this one guy, but when we met up again it was like hmmm why was i crushing on him , i don't know it just evaporated once i got to hang out with him again, and then this other guy he was sweet took me out spent some money on me, but i just couldn't feel comfortable around him, am i missing some chemical in my brain that makes me not able to relate or something with these guys, am i that picky , i don't think i am and as much as i am lonely i just don't want to have to settle ya know and i know that's what i was doing with Sean, he was a great guy and i liked talking with him, but after a while it was like OMG enough and i just couldn't handle his whining i know that is sad but its true ; the kind of guy i would like is a outgoing guy who can do most of the talking, who is strong and can protect me if needed, someone sweet who is going to surprise me with a visit, a call, flowers etc, someone who knows how to have fun and wants to with me hehe, that's what i liked about Kirk (he was the guy i had the small crush on) his personality is awesome but i don't like the way he treated me and he just isn't ready for someone like me which sucks, because he dose seem like he can kick someones ass if he needed too hehe.

Really i think i just need to get a job or go to school, just get totally caught up in something and stop trying to find a man, because maybe somewhere deep down inside me i don't want a guy right now meh who knows i did enjoy kissing though i do love to kiss and found out that i am a aggressive kisser =D who knew lol.

Oh yea and then my ex Paul has been trying to become friends with me again, but i know he just want's something for his own selfish needs, so idk if i want to open that gate ya know, all my friends tell me that i shouldn't and maybe i should listen to that.

Been really wanting to watch Jurassic Park and i think i will just kick back and do that ;) til next time hopefully it wont be another long pause before i write again.

XOXOXOXO D